Say What You Mean
I am just getting out of the shower when my wife bursts in with the phone.
“There’s some guy on the phone wanting an interview with you. Here,” she abruptly blurts and thrusts me her cell phone.
For the next fifteen minutes or so I go through all of the pleasantries one goes through when sweet talking a prospective employer whilst scheduling an interview and getting directions. My wife writes as I repeat his instructions.
I hang up with the gentlemen on the phone and my wife begins one of her rants.
“I didn’t get that other job.”
“The one supervising the kids?” I ask. We both had applied for a position with a company who provides supervised visits for non-custodial parents.
“Yeah. I called them and they said I didn’t get it. I need to get a higher paying job. I’m not making enough money. But, I can’t afford to go to college three time a week. That’s too much gas.”
“Yeah,” I say, hoping it will end there. I’m getting dressed and laying out my shirt when she starts in on it, again.
She throws her checkbook down on the bed and repeats herself.
I’m tired of listening her talk herself in circles, getting herself all worked up over nothing. Angrily, I say, “Do you want to go to college?”
“Yes.”
“What are you going to study, or do you still need to figure that out?”
Exasperated, she answers, “I am going to study nursing. I’ve told you that over and over. If I can go to college for free at [name of an excellent college of nursing in a city an hour away], then it would be stupid to pay for it. Plus, it’s [name of college]. They’re the best!”
Before she can go on with something else, I step in real quick. “That’s an hour away! Why don’t you go locally. The fuel cost will be much cheaper.”
To make a long story short, we go around and around on this. Her point: free college is better than paying, but she doesn’t make enough money to pay for fuel. My point: local college is better than no college regardless if it is free or the best around, AND local college is cheaper on fuel. Additionally, I tell her that it is never a “good” or “right” time to go to college, and that if she waits to hear back to go to the great college for free, then she’ll need more fuel money, then she’ll need to make more money and she can’t do that without her nursing degree.
Just say what you mean. If you just want to piss yourself off and piss off your spouse… Well, then, my wife knows how to do it. This conversation is a good example of that. Otherwise, say what you mean. Keep it brief and right to the point. Don’t get pissed off at the other person for anything he/she points out. If you just want to vent, prepare the person and create the situation by stating you wish to vent. Don’t expect someone to read your mind and hold your hand while you jump about screaming and yelling, having your little temper tantrum. Bad girls stand in the corner.
